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    It seems ridiculous now – and actually it was fairly ridiculous at the time – but it’s simply an objective fact that the US went completely fucking berserk over the metrosexual – my insufferably pretty offspring with the really great, hydrated skin.


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    Among the dozen or so white glove co-operative apartment houses that rank among New York City’s most expensive and hardest to gain access to, staid, stodgy and solid as a rock 834 Fifth Avenue is the cream of the real estate crop.The somber and pedigreed Street directly across the street from the entrance to the Central Park Zoo.The state of the art kitchen complex includes a big butler’s pantry, a second, walk-in sized pantry and a small terrace for smoking a guy is the bees knees when it comes to thoughtful and elegant apartments?The master bedroom sits immediately off the upper landing and has over sized windows that reach almost to the floor, a wall of closets plus a walk-in dressing room and the aforementioned park view private –listed her 13 room spread with an asking price of ,000,000.Shortly thereafter the apartment was was re-listed with a new listing agent at the old ,900,000 asking price.

    The apartment was listed on the (open) market for less than one month before it was put into contract and in mid-March the sale was recorded for ,000,000.One of the more recent transfers at 834 Fifth Avenue was in April of 2009 when Cuban born billionaire and Bill Clinton crony Paul and his wife Gertie put their fifth floor apartment on the (open) market with an asking price of ,500,000.By September (2009) the asking price has sunk to ,500,000 and in May of 2010 the rambling, 10-room apartment sold for ,000,000 to a Swiss tycoon by the name of Maurice whose fortune derives in great part from the sale of the ink used to print much of the world’s bank notes.834 Fifth Avenue, sugar beets, is not for the financially feint of heart or–since the building allows no financing of purchases–the cash strapped.If Your Mama busts out our bejeweled abacus and flicks the well worn beads around a bit we discover that the amount of money that changed hands at 834 in the last 5 or 6 years totals a bone shattering 1,644,500 with an average sale price of ,940,000.

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